Monday, November 16, 2009

The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

Click to see my contribution to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

I saw this sign in the lobby of the Doubletree in Boise, Idaho, while on tour with Black Them Boots. I snapped the photo with my iPhone and sent it via Facebook to my MFA colleague Shannon Bartlett, who follows blogs of interest to English grammar geeks like us. She was the one who suggested I send it to Bethany at the "Blog."

Friday, September 11, 2009

Don't Look Back

I can't wait for someone to ask me what I did over the summer, so I can show them this video. For more information on Black Them Boots, click the links in the margin. Enjoy.


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Talitha Cumi

She was that girl who just got her hips and was learning to use them. She wasn't there for the right reason, looking around the arena, rolling her eyes, wondering when all this boring stuff would be over, so she could do something fun.

She had been told before of the things that could be done for her if she just reached out her hand and asked for it, this repeated over and again by her sister, by her parents, by her teachers, by all those speeches during the day, which was why she got talked into going there, so she could be helped. But she didn't care to make the first step. Maybe she didn't even believe of the possibility, of the reality.

So there she stood in front of me, looking around the room, rolling her eyes, wondering when all this boring stuff would be over, so she could do something fun.

Stubborn little girl, but she was loved nonetheless. So she was the one who got reached out to, called by name. When she got tapped on the shoulder, she began to cry. Light tears at first, followed by sobbing, followed by wailing, followed by her panting for breath and collapsing onto the floor. When she came to, we took her outside for air.

When she recovered her breath, she was filled with such joy that she could not stop laughing, filled with such undeniable proof, and she knew things were going to be different.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Talking to Strangers

In my alter ego life, we do it all the time: carry on conversations with people we don't know—fans, patrons coming in off the street, sound guys, promoters, other musicians—often never even getting their names before they disappear after last call. Their faces, the topics of talk, usually forgotten by when our ears stop ringing the next morning.

But this one guy we met last night was instantly beaming with charisma, and I knew he would be one of the few we remember. Afterwards, our drummer Mike told me there was something familiar about him, that he reminded him of someone. After the show, he did a little snooping on the net. Sure enough, it was who he thought all along.


We were in Hollywood, at this venue called Crane’s Tavern on El Centro, off Sunset Boulevard. We were waiting for the go-ahead to set up in the load-in area when our slot kept getting pushed later into the evening. When the promoter told us we were third in line (about an hour and a half longer), we decided to lock up our gear and socialize, get a beer, catch some of the acts before ours.

The band that was on was called Nice Guy Eddie. The bassist played this monstrous twelve-stringer—it was an impressive instrument. They had catchy pop-rock songs and hilarious stage banter. Nice Guy Eddie was followed by some acoustic two-piece coffee shop act that, to my chagrin, made everyone leave with their slit-your-wrist dirges. Because those low-ballers drove away our crowd, I didn't bother to remember their name nor finish the rest of their set. I went outside to the patio.

Mike and his wife Wendy were chatting with the bassist from Nice Guy Eddie—small talk like where he lived, his music career, about how he did some acting in the past—really funny, entertaining guy, and one joke he shared I noted in my mind to use in the future. The humor and outgoingness came natural to him, so it was easy to believe what he told us about being in the biz. It never occurred to us, though, to ask specifically what he did, and he was modest in that he didn’t brag.

Our slot came up. I caught a glimpse of him in the crowd but eventually lost sight of him. We never saw him again that evening, gone the way of the majority of those we meet at these things.

Mike's research confirmed his hunch. His name was Robbie Rist. He had done his fair share of acting and voice-over work in the industry (including the voice of Michaelangelo from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies), been involved in a lot of music, just as he mentioned.

He is, however, best known for this one role he played: Cousin Oliver during the final season of The Brady Bunch.

I guess I will see him again after all... next time I watch a rerun.


Friday, June 26, 2009

from: Dolorosa, Chapter V

[...] So when his old friend Constantino De Vera came tumbling out of the dark into the Church of the Feast of the Holy Innocents that evening, Father Ernesto Espiritu’s first question was to ask what vile deed he had committed.
           “The Governor refused to debate me on my people’s natural rights to suffrage. He claims he does not want to breathe my expirations for fear of contracting doloria. So under the cover of darkness, I returned to his palace where I exhaled on all of the fruits in his orchard. Then I salted the earth. Nothing will grow there any longer."
           Father Ernesto Espiritu blew out the match he used to light the sanctuary lamp. “You do not have to tell me that this was unsanctioned by the Ilustrado. Realize, Tino, that your destructive, rogue acts are detrimental to your Organization’s plight. You cannot demand an open dialogue on the subject of your rights as humans while behaving as an—.”
           “An animal? If they will not address me as a man, then they will get the beast they want me to be.” Constantino De Vera snarled. “On the way over the wall, when a guard confronted me, I clawed at him. Yes, like an animal.” Father Ernesto Espiritu shook his head, crossing himself. “He was already faint, mad from the doloria that he really thought I was an ape. He jumped into the estuary to get away, almost drowning in the high tide. I know we can oust these sickly occupiers, Nestor. Talking like human beings has not helped. It is time for action. It is time to be apes.” Outside, they heard sprinting boots on cobblestones. Constantino De Vera placed his hand on the priest’s shoulder. “Grant me asylum in your church; they are here for me.” The priest dropped his head in a hesitant nod, knowing he could not refuse the request.
           The wobbly group of Armadura soldiers, five stringy men, pounded on the heavy vestibule door with the butts of their rifles. “Send out the orangutan,” one of them demanded. After his refugee secured himself in the sacristy, Father Ernesto Espiritu opened the door a sliver.
           “There are no orangutans here,” the priest did not have to lie.
           “Nonsense. We followed it here. Or perhaps,” the one at the door looked back to his soaking-wet comrade, “was it a chimpanzee? Definitely a simian.” The soldier attempted to peek through the opening. Father Ernesto Espiritu intercepted his gaze with his reproving stare.
           “No chimpanzees either. Nor gorillas.” The squad became agitated, their grips tightening around the triggers of their rifles.
           “Father, we must euthanize the beast for the safety of all on this outpost."
           “There are only men here,” Father Ernesto Espiritu dismissed the soldiers with a bow. “Of the human variety. Good evening to you all.” The soldier prevented the door from shutting with his rifle’s stock.
           “We must insist on searching the premises, in the name of the Governor."
           “The Governor has no authority on this plot of land,” Father Ernesto Espiritu snapped. Then he changed his tone after realizing the condition of those soldiers: “You men are not well. Go home. Rest. Again, good evening to you all.”
           “Let us have that ape,” the soldiers persisted, “in the name of the Governor.” They simultaneously heaved against the entrance, using the rifle as a lever. Father Ernesto Espiritu put a shoulder against the door while using his fist to hammer at the jammed stock of the weapon.
           “Do not bring these instruments of the devil in here.”
           Constantino De Vera heard the commotion from his hiding place in the alb closet of the sacristy. He hurried to the vestibule to assist the priest, further inciting the ill mob outside whose presumption of the ape’s presence was verified. Those five Armadura soldiers, enfeebled by the advanced symptoms of doloria, despite their charged fury, did not have enough strength to pry themselves through. The two inside shook, swiveled, pounded at the obstruction in order to expel it, so they could seal the door to secure the heavy metal latch—when a loud report coupled with a blinding flash discombobulated all in the fracas. The door swung open. All seven men fell to the floor. When they reoriented themselves, only six arose. They all looked at the rifle. Then, to the still body of an Armadura soldier splayed next to it, blood oozing from a hole in his head onto the stone cobbles of the sanctified ground. [...]

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What Time Is It Now?


(Originally written and performed by RTM. Lyrics by Mia Gooding. Music by Marlon Martín, Erwin Modesto, Marjo Elcamel, and P.J. Martín.)

Is there anyway for you to tell me
what time is it now
it's been six months since you left me
left me here with no way out

Can you hear the clock ticking
on the fireplace's mantle
where our pictures used to be
of where you were once holding me
I want to know

What time is it now
is it too late for me to call you
maybe I should just turn away
out in the cold and pouring rain

What day is it now
I think it's just a lazy Monday
another week to figure out
how to get through this agony
and how
right now

What time is it now
(where you may be)
is it too late for me to call you
(and tell you what I feel)
maybe I should just turn away
(and leave you standing there)
out in the cold and pouring rain
(with no one to hold on to)

Secondhand Courtesan


Let me tell you a story about this girl I met

This all took place sometime next November

It was an awkward Tuesday because it felt more like tomorrow night. In a strange bar on the corner of Third and Paraguay, I saw her sitting there with a scowl like switchblades, a sneer that smelled of urine-soaked alleyways. I walked up to her and I said "hi" and she said "guten tag" or some shit like that. "So let me freshen your drink. Whatcha havin' there?" "The elixir of human souls," she said. And I said, "You're just my kinda girl. Will you marry me?"

She's a secondhand courtesan
turned on me like a flash in the pan
she came at me with a knife in her hand
reading off her list of demands
I started crying like I wasn't a man
out the door down the street I ran
she followed me with the knife in her hand
that secondhand courtesan

Twenty years ago

I was hang-gliding with Stevo off the coast of Tennessee when I saw her like a mermaid in the waves, caught up in one of them plastic six-pack holders. "Don't I know you?" she asked. "Maybe in another life, when I was a toaster or an aphid," I said. "If you were a toaster," she said, "then I was jelly. If you were an aphid, then I was the dandelion on your Mama's porch. Come help me out and I'll be the rings of your Saturn, dear." And I said, "Nah, that's alright. I'm content being space debris."

She's a secondhand courtesan
turned on me like a flash in the pan
she came at me with a knife in her hand
reading off her list of demands
I started crying like I wasn't a man
out the door down the street I ran
she followed me with the knife in her hand
that secondhand courtesan

Here comes my solo

She's a secondhand courtesan
turned on me like a flash in the pan
she came at me with a knife in her hand
reading off her list of demands
I started crying like I wasn't a man
out the door down the street I ran
she followed me with the knife in her hand
that secondhand courtesan

She's a secondhand courtesan
turned on me like a flash in the pan
she came at me with a knife in her hand
reading off her list of demands
I started crying like I wasn't a man
out the door down the street I ran
she followed me with the knife in her hand
that secondhand courtesan